A Look into my Window Pane...

I sat alone in a desert thunderstorm with the thunder ripping throughout my whole body. As I pressed my nose against the window pane the rain trickled downward with my tears, closing in on me. The coldness was already inside my bosom, so I felt almost one with he wetness upon me. The wind blew its shivering breathe upon me but I just kept soaking into my thoughts and flooding my mind with tears. The lighting could of struck me and its energy would not have been enough to uncover my own pain. The dark clouds in the sunken sky overshadowed my limp frame stealing away the sunlight from my thoughts.

I moved away from the window frame, and crawled back into the sheets of the hospital bed. I was crying for my little girl to return, but I knew there was no going back. The sadness ached in my head, not knowing that soon my physical pain would overpower my emotional tears. I felt my whole body bearing down, as if I would rid it of every energy inside me. The rain sounding like faint drum beats, as I breathed into my contractions. I felt my little girl screams were changing voices, for every layer unfolded within me, as if I was a wrapped cocoon. My arms seemed to develop wings my journey lighter, and as I closed my eyes a butterfly emerged. I was ready to embrace the power of creation with a second tear that stormed my heart with love.

Through the racked pain developing in my womb, i felt a light encircle its chambers and for the first time I felt an inward peace. I looked towards the sky and felt one with the storm. Its powerful thundering and lighting was a magnetism of creation. I had poured my own rain of tears to bring forth a small hand upon my breast. My heart was pounding like thunder, my tears were trickling like rain, and the lighting announced a new mother on the earth. I never knew that this little face would save me from the storms of life, until his face pressed into my lips. It was as if sunlight filled my mind, and the clouds removed their shadows. I never knew the storm of love ended with a rainbow, until my little child laid in my arms.

Love you Antonio xoxo Mom